Sunday, August 13, 2006

40 days of porpoise

My church is currently engaged in a mission.

The porpoise driven wife course, based on the book by Rick Warren. Its something of a phenomenon... I think he's even been on Oprah because of it.

But consider the implications... 40 days of porpoise! I've heard of rice diets, potatoe diets, cereal diets etc. etc. But porpoise? Do you have any idea how hard it is to find porpoise meat? I am paying a few hundred rands per kilogram to get porpoise from a guy who comes by my house at 2am on fridays. Why? - Because I believe that if my wife becomes completely porpoise driven she will be happy and complete. And what price is too dear for such a blissful goal?

The reason I'm writing this is to ask - does anyone have any recipes for porpoise? She's tired of porpoise and egg. And if anyone sees a porpoise (the bottom one is a dolphin) please harpoon it and post it to my home address.

Yours in porpoise,



Gus said...



Pudding of porpoise. Take the Blood of him, & the grease of him self, & Oatmeal, & Salt, & Pepper, & Ginger, & mix these together well, & then put this in the Gut of the porpoise, & then let it boil easily, & not hard, a good while; & then take him up, & broil him a little, & then serve forth.



Porpoise blood
Porpoise grease
One porpoise stomach
Combine the porpoise blood, porpoise grease, and oatmeal, & season it with salt, pepper, & ginger. This should be a thick & moist stuffing-like mixture. Stuff the porpoise stomach about half full with this, as the stuffing will swell during cooking.. Sew up the stomach tightly or secure each end with string, & prick it all over with a large needle to avoid bursting. Put an upturned plate in the base of a pot of boiling water, stand the stomach on this and bring back to the boil; boil steadily for 3 to 4 hours. Cook until done; remove from water and drain well. Place in a broiler and cook for several minutes on both sides to slightly crisp the skin, then serve.

This recipe is essentially a porpoise haggis, as it uses all the elements found in the traditional Scottich haggis of a boiled sheep stomach with an oatmeal stuffing.

If for some reason you are unable to find a porpoise stomach, you might try a sheep stomach, still used today when making haggis. Alternatively, you may do the "American" version of making haggis, which leaves out the stomach entirely and has the mixture baked in a loaf pan.

Also, you may substitute a little white wine for the porpoise blood and butter or suet for the porpoise grease. Vegetable shortening may be also be used for the porpoise grease; the original recipe was probably intended for Lent and porpoise grease would have been an acceptable animal fat to use at that time. Vegetable shortening will probably be the closest and easiest alternative to fish grease if you wish to keep this a Lenten dish.

Dassie said...

It may be easier just to wear the t-shirt. That way you can pretend to be porpoised.

Murray & Gina UK said...

I've been away for a while, so forgive the belated comment:

(if you would like the translation from the Ancient Greek the go to