the blurry end of year feeling

The idea of ‘end’ kind of blurrs.

The goal of this year has been my education… most of it practical ‘in the field’ I guess they call it.  Now – as the year draws to a close it is my task – job – calling – to reflect a bit on the lessons I’ve learned.

One significant and over riding factor this year has been my awareness of its brevity.  It all happened with an attitude of this too will pass.  A bit negative, but I am a soft and sentimental sort of person…  I have tried to keep myself from growing too close to those around me, but as I leave I find that I got close to them anyways.  

As I realise that I got close to them I realise that I missed the opportunity to invest in their friendships.

In my work I carried on with the attitude – ‘what difference can I make?  I’m only here for a year.’ But I realise that I have made some difference, I have done some thing… if I did it more intentionally would I have been more effective.

But, at the same time, I regret little.

Heather and I have had an almost honeymoon kind of year, our schedules have been quite flexible, although I have been away from home a lot we have managed to grow closer to each other; cementing our relationship, learning to understand one another…

Which reminds me… Its my turn to clean the toilets.

Peace